"Oh, what joy for those
whose rebellion is forgiven,
whose sin is put out of sight!
Yes, what joy for those
whose record the LORD has cleared of sin,
whose lives are lived in complete honesty!
When I refused to confess my sin,
I was weak and miserable,
and I groaned all day long.
Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.
My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.
Finally I confessed all my sins to you
and stopped trying to hide them.
I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.'
And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone."
(Psalm 32:1-5, NLT)
Several times over the last few weeks, I've been brought back to the difference between mentally acknowledging something and talking to God about it. To think, "That was wrong; I shouldn't have done it" is NOT the same as to say, "Lord, I have sinned against You--please forgive me." To think, "I can't do this--it's too hard--I am so weak and desperate and inadequate; I know I really need God's help" is NOT the same as saying, "Father, help me! I can't do this on my own--I am weak and inadequate; I am desperate for Your grace!"
So often I operate with an inner monologue instead of a dialogue with the living God who SEES and CARES. I know what is true, but my posture is not toward God. I may be aware that I am helpless and in dire need of God's grace and strength, and yet I fail to actually bring my helplessness TO HIM and ASK Him for grace and strength.
Father, make me quick to confess our sin TO YOU. Not just quick to realize that I'm wrong and admit it in some generic way, but to actually run to You and confess and find forgiveness. I don't have to live under a constant burden of guilt--when I confess, You forgive me, and when You forgive, my guilt is gone! And when my guilt is gone, that's when joy comes. Deep joy is for those who have been set free--for those who have come to You and trusted You to cancel the record of their sin by nailing it to the cross (Col 2:14).