Ninety-Three Percent

That's how many newborns going home from the hospital for the first time are buckled into their carseats incorrectly, according to the most recent data.

Based on what I have seen, I don't believe the statistics for older children are a whole lot better.

It is not a rookie mistake: I have seen first-time parents misusing carseats...and I have also seen parents of six kids misusing carseats.

And it is not just newborns: I have seen brand-new babies buckled incorrectly...and I have also seen kids turned forward-facing way too early, and kids in boosters way too early, and kids out of boosters riding in the front seat way too early.

Think I am overly anal-retentive about carseat safety? Think about this:

"...car crashes are the leading cause of death for children 1 to 15 years of age, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."

Yes, when you were a kid, you rode lying stretched out across the bench seat in the back of the van. Yes, when your mom was a kid, they put her in a basket on the floorboard. Yes, when Grandma was a kid she just sat on the luggage rack and held on tight. But when we know better, we do better.  Knowledge and technology and safety standards have all improved--WHY wouldn't we take advantage of these advancements to keep our kids safer on the road?

You're not stupid if you're doing it wrong. You're the majority! And there is NO SHAME in asking for help. Seriously, there are a hundred variables. Every seat is different, every car is different; rear-facing is different from forward-facing is different from belt-positioning booster is different from small booster. It's enough to make anyone's head spin.

Confession: Elijah was one of those newborns. I absolutely cringe when I look at the pictures of him in his carseat, coming home from the hospital. He was buckled nice and snug, but the seat (despite being labeled as appropriate for newborns) was too big for him; the harness slots didn't go low enough. And it was so hard to get a good installation in that seat when rear-facing, I'm sure it wouldn't have passed a check. I thought I knew about carseat safety! But I have been one of the parents getting it wrong. 

I have learned a lot since then, and I'm thankful for all the passionate Child Passenger Safety Technicians who work tirelessly to distribute good information online. Yet I still struggle to know what to do when I see parents, in real life or in photos posted on Facebook, using carseats incorrectly. No one likes to be told "you're doing it wrong," and no matter how gently and carefully I speak, no matter how much my heart is humbly and sincerely desiring to help as I was helped, people think they are being judged and get angry and defensive (no, I am not speaking hypothetically).

So for all the times I lack the courage to speak up to the parents of kids who are buckled too loosely or in the wrong kind of seat, I will keep posting links on Facebook, and I will spread the word here. Because 93 percent is too many.

Please, don't let your pride or self-sufficiency or over-confidence or lack of information get in the way of your child's safety.

• Find a CPST in your area and find out in person whether your seat is correctly installed in your vehicle. 
• Review the owner's manual for your seat (they're all easily located online, if you've lost the paper copy). 

And make sure you know about and are avoiding the most common mistakes. The top two are the ones I see most obviously and often:   

• harness too loose (you should not be able to pinch any slack--the right fit "is snugger than most think it should be," according to the study's presenter) 
  
• chest clip too low (it should be at armpit level--which is "higher than most families feel it should be," said Dr. Hoffman) 

Take a moment to look at these photos for clear "correct" and "incorrect" examples of these and other mistakes. As the author of that post notes:

"...it’s OKAY if you’ve got something wrong. We all have screwed up at some point. ...It’s not a problem if you make mistakes…when it becomes a problem is when you’d rather be right than DO right, at the cost of your child’s life."

Things I Learned in April

I learned so much in April. Where to start?

1. A smartphone app can actually enhance, rather than distract from, your prayer life. I've been using PrayerMate for a few weeks now and have really found it helpful. It took me a little while to get subjects and details entered, but once I got going, I thought it was great. It organizes individual prayer "cards" under "categories" like family, church, global missions, personal holiness, etc. (all totally customizable). I love how you can easily add photos to the cards and text or email the person you're praying for from within the app. I have really struggled to be consistent with intercession, but this is helping.

2. Cars are deadly machines--and I am not invincible. Though the boys and I were unharmed in our early-April wreck, I was shaken. It was a wake-up call, in terms of how quickly an accident can happen and how careless I'd become. Sure, I don't text while driving (and if you do, PLEASE STOP), but how many other distracting behaviors do I excuse? And how much worse could our accident have been if I'd been doing one at the time? I've been driving more cautiously, and paying closer attention. I feel more nervous on the road than I ever did before. 

3. On a related note, some engineer at Britax deserves a HUGE raise. Our insurance company replaced our carseats after the accident (here's why), and we discovered that Britax had redesigned Elijah's harness-to-booster seat since we bought it a couple of years ago. Their new ClickTight technology is seriously GENIUS. It's a game-changer. I hope other companies follow suit; it makes secure installation quick, easy and foolproof. (Don't forget: your child's seat should not move more than *one inch* from side to side at the belt path. This is another super-common carseat usage mistake--check your kids' seats!)

4. Also related (OK, this is not technically something I learned but I am putting it here in hopes that maybe it will become something YOU learned), I now firmly believe more than ever in investing in a good carseat and taking advantage of available safety technology beyond what is strictly "required" by law. Please, don't turn your kids around too soon, and don't put them in boosters too soon. Rearfacing is five times safer, and bigger kids need to pass the five-step test before they are truly ready for a booster, no matter what height or weight they are.

5. Dawn + vinegar + water works amazingly to clean the shower. A while back I recommended Magic Eraser for soap scum, which I still heartily endorse, but was recently complaining to a friend how difficult it is to get our textured shower floor clean. She shared this recipe: a swirl of Dawn, then fill the spray bottle the rest of the way with half vinegar, half water. Spray it down, then (this part is key, I think) walk away and let it work for a while. When I came back maybe 10-20 minutes later, it took way less elbow grease to scrub the floor than it usually requires!

6. Forget beans and rice; my new favorite is beans and slaw. Specifically, the black bean ragout in The Smitten Kitchen Cookbook with this super-simple lime cilantro slaw. I was first introduced to the idea in that link, where SK pairs beans, slaw and feta in a tortilla. Finding that surprisingly delicious, I soon concluded: apart from the tortilla and cheese, why not use the slaw with the beans as a side dish instead of the typical beans-and-rice? I love the fresh, crunchy, tangy, bright flavor against the rich, smoky beans. And it's a perfect way to get some more veggies in Mexican meals that can sometimes be low on them.

7. Haven't tried this yet, but I totally will the next time I buy cherry/grape tomatoes: How to Cut a Dozen Cherry Tomatoes in Half All At Once. Genius.

8. The reason most climbers attempt to summit Mount Everest in May: for the rest of the year, winds can exceed 100mph at the top. Sometimes they're faster than hurricane wind speeds. I discovered this little tidbit after the tragic deaths of the Sherpas prompted me to do some googling and I wound up on a rabbit trail of reading about climbing Everest.

What about you--what did you learn last month?

Things I Learned in October

I'm hooked on this prompt from Chatting at the Sky--finding it fun to keep a draft running all month and jot down the random things I learn. Here are October's lessons:

1. "Sushi" does not actually mean "raw fish." Am I the only one who totally misunderstood this? My Filipina friend Ana set me straight after I asked a confused question on a Facebook photo she posted of her homemade sushi made with cooked crab. She explained:

"It's still considered sushi even when you use cooked meat. The term sushi literally means sour-tasting. It's actually the vinegared rice that makes the sushi a sushi. When you use raw meat (not necessarily seafood), then you call it sashimi."

I always avoided sushi because I was pretty certain I couldn't handle the texture of raw meat--well, not that I've had tons of opportunities to try it, but I've certainly never sought any. Now I'm kind of curious to give it a taste.

2. There are few foods I love more than burnt cheese, and I may or may not have recently purposely placed plain provolone cheese on my stone and baked it to eat straight up burnt cheese. Turns out there is actually a fancy-sounding name for that, which sounds so much more sophisticated than burnt cheese: "frico." That said, frico grilled cheese seemed like a brilliant idea--but it was an epic fail. The cheese glued the bread to the pan and made nothing more than a mess. 

3. Britax has excellent customer service. We learned the hard way that with the more expensive carseats, you're paying for ease of use. The Cosco Alpha Omega seat we had when Elijah was a baby was terrible--incredibly difficult to get installed correctly when rearfacing, a pain in the neck to adjust. With Jude, we splurged on a Chicco KeyFit30 and LOVED it. Now both boys are in Britax seats--Jude in a Boulevard and Elijah in a Frontier--and we are very pleased with them. However, the side impact wing/headrest on Jude's recently broke, so I called Britax. The seat is more than a year old, but they sent us a replacement part, no questions asked.

And while we're on the subject...70-90% of carseats are installed or used improperly, even though 95% of parents think they're using the seats correctly. Here's a simple guide with helpful photos--make sure you are one of the minority! Some of the most common mistakes:

• chest clip too low (it should be at armpit level)
• harness straps too loose (you should not be able to pinch any slack)
• seat not installed tightly enough (it should not move more than one inch side to side at the belt patch)
• improper seat choice (forward facing too soon, booster too soon)

4. Magic Eraser works on soap scum. CHANGED MY LIFE. Yes I'm about a decade behind on this. Better late than never right? I ignored the hype for the longest time because I assumed it had to be full of all kinds of crazy chemicals to be so magical. Finally I found out, nope, it's just sanding off the top layer of dirt. Cleaning the tub/shower used to be my most despised housekeeping task ever. OK, it still is, but I couldn't believe how much easier and more effective the job was when I gave the Magic Eraser a try at last.

5. Rome apples are not crisp. Neither are Winesaps. I've been on the hunt for a good apple to eat plain since they are in season right now, but I have been striking out repeatedly with local orchards. Two growers have told me that these varieties were crisp...they were NOT. I have Cameos on order--I'm pretty sure I remember really liking those in the past. At least we can always make applesauce from the mushy, mealy ones...but I am really hungry for some good tart-sweet, hard-crisp eating apples!

6. You can use 1/3 c. maple syrup instead of the sugar in this baked oatmeal recipe, making it even healthier. The boys are happy to eat regular oatmeal every morning, but I don't care for it. Every once in a while I make this and we all consider it a delicious treat. I've also used blueberries or blackberries in place of the cranberries. All work well, but I have learned the hard way that chopping the cranberries is important. This recipe isn't very sweet at all, but even with my sweet tooth, I really enjoy it.

7. Remember the lady who sued McDonalds back in the 90s because their coffee was hot and she spilled it on herself? For 20 years we've pointed to that story as the ultimate example of how ridiculously out of control lawsuits are. But it turns out there's WAY more to the story than you've probably heard. Did you know that she suffered third degree burns that left her hospitalized for a week? Or that her first move was to contact McDonalds privately and ask them to pay her medical bills? Or that not only did the jury's original recommendation of $2.7 million amount to only two days' coffee sales for McDonalds, but that a judge ultimately reduced the settlement to less than $500,000? The news report I watched this month was eye-opening, to say the least. How many times do I have to learn this lesson--that stories are almost always much more complicated than the little pieces I know?

8. The number 42 has been retired not just from the Dodgers, but from all of baseball, in honor of Jackie Robinson. Steve and I just watched the new movie 42 and absolutely loved it. 

How about you - what did you learn this last month?

Don't Turn Around

Now that Elijah is a year old and (finally) weighs 20 pounds, several people have asked me when we're going to turn his carseat around. The answer is that having him forward-facing in the car isn't a milestone I'm looking forward to--it's one I'm hoping to delay as long as possible. He'll stay rear-facing as long as it's safe to do so, which for his carseat means when he weighs 35 pounds or when his head is above the top of the seat.

Wouldn't he be happier if he could face forward? Maybe. Wouldn't it be easier for us to give him toys or snacks? Sure. But he's safer facing the rear, and isn't that the main goal? Scandinavian countries actually recommend rear-facing in the car up to age four. And there's plenty of data to support this recommendation. Here's a short video of a crash test showing dummies in both front and rear-facing seats:



From CarSeatSite.com:

"Rear-facing...reduces the risk of death by 71%. ...[In one study], forward-facing children under the age of 2, especially those in side impacts, were 75% more likely to be injured. Why? It's because of the way the rear-facing car seat protects a child. It cradles the head, neck, and back.

"The most common type of crash is the frontal crash. In a frontal crash, the entire back of a rear-facing car seat absorbs crash forces, protecting the child's head, neck, and spine. In the less common, but more injurious side impact crash, the rear-facing car seat again protects the head, neck and back. Since there's almost always an element of forward motion in a side impact—such as when a vehicle is going straight through an intersection when it's struck in the side by a red-light runner—a rear-facing seat does a better job of keeping a child's head contained within the safety of the seat."

Have you ever noticed how gigantic a baby's head is compared to the rest of his body? Their head size is completely out of proportion--a baby can't even touch his hands together above his head. A newborn's head is approx 25% of his/her body weight. If that were true of adults, my head would weigh 32 pounds! But an adult's head is only about 6-8% of his/her body weight. Children are top-heavy, which affects the way their bodies move in a crash. Not only this, but their bones are less rigid than an adult's bones:

"very young children have immature and incompletely ossified bones that are soft and will deform and/or separate under tension, leaving the spinal cord as the last link between the head and the torso. ...the spinal cord ruptures if stretched more than 1/4 inch.

"Real accident experience has also shown that a young child's skull can be literally ripped from its spine by the force of a crash. Yes, the body is being held in place, but the head is not. When a child is facing rearward, the head is cradled and moves in unison with the body, so that there is little or no relative motion that might pull on the connecting neck." (source)

Keep your kids facing the rear as long as you can! That limit depends on your carseat--check the manual for guidelines.

For more information:

• Another video with crash test footage as well as lots of quotes and statistics about extended rear-facing (and great background music by Brooke Fraser).
• CarSafety.org - Why Rear-Facing is Safest
• MSNBC - Child Car Seat Advice Questioned

(P.S. - Bonus points to the first person who identifies the 90s pop song reference in the title :)