Monday, October 10, 2005

Peopled Out

After Saturday's disappointing potluck, Sunday was more promising. Steve and I had been invited to lunch at the home of the pastor of Calvary Bible Church, where we've been attending for the past month. (I need to blog about that soon; I can't believe I haven't yet.) Anyway, Pastor Dave had invited us and a few other couples (we had no idea who he was asking) for a time of fellowship and getting to know each other.

I was very much looking forward to this. But by the end of the day, Steve and I were both completely drained. We had missed our Sunday afternoon nap, so we were exhausted, and more than that, we were totally peopled-out.

Don't get me wrong; it was good to get out and interact with people, and spend some time with people from church. And I certainly don't want to sound ungrateful--it was such a nice gesture, and the people were very friendly! (Although Steve and I definitely felt like the oddballs as the only ones without kids--more on that when I blog about church.) We were joined by the pastor's son and his wife (who looks just like Nicole Hummel--I think of her every time I see Dana) and their two ADORABLE kids; a woman I met on Friday night scrapbooking, her husband and their two kids; and a couple we'd seen but never met and their three kids. We enjoyed lots of good food and sat around together all afternoon talking.

That said...I'm getting to that stage where I'm just tired of answering the same questions and nodding and smiling a lot. I long for people to go deep with. I realize that takes time, and I realize you have to get through the superficial stuff to get to that point. I guess I just forgot how much energy and patience it takes to build new relationships. And let's just say I've never been a very patient person :)

I don't know how to say it better than Steve's comment on Saturday night: "I don't want to meet more people. I want to know more people."

But...I am trusting the grace and faithfulness of God. I need only to look back on my freshman year of college, when I went through a miserable, lonely time of adjusting. I remember vividly how it felt to long for a hug (for most of the first semester, I didn't really know anyone well enough to hug them) or a real heart-to-heart, face-to-face chat with someone who knew and understood and loved me. So many times I cried out to God during that rough time, begging Him for just one friend.

In the end, He was more than faithful. As I look back, I shake my head in amazement at all the incredible people He placed in my life during those four years. It took some time, but I was blessed by friendships with so many beautiful, godly women (and men, too...and even a few professors)! All that to say, I know I can trust Him to provide. Not to mention the fact that this season of my life, although similar to that one in many ways, has a huge difference: Steve. While I wait for deeper friendships to develop, I've got the deepest relationship a person can have--someone to walk through the adjustment with, hand in hand. God has been so good to me.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

--Thomas O. Chisholm, (c) 1923 Hope Publishing Co.


Aeron said...

Oh Amy...
Good's definitely looking like I am at least doing my student teaching down there in New I will have an easier time to come see YOU! :) Not that I am not taking a road trip this summer to come see you or anything (wink wink). I miss you tons, and love you lots!

dottie said...

i completely understand your (and steve's) frustration with "meeting" rather than "knowing" people. makes you just want to say, "hey, nice to meet you. can we cut all through all the stupid tape and talk about something deep and real? great. thanks." but yeah, relationships are never (or at least are not usually) instantaneous. what a struggle for an impatient person (meaning myself, not you :p ) oh, how i empathize with you. hang in there. i look forward to reading the post somewhere down the line where you've established some great friendships and can yet again testify to God's faithfulness.
mucho love,