Friday, December 05, 2008

Cooking, Listening, Surprising Myself

While I was at home over the last two weeks, I did some cooking for my parents and in-laws. Using other people's tools, lacking ingredients I rely on, adjusting to different pots, not knowing where things are...all sources of frustration. But Steve and I had to laugh at the remark that came out of my mouth: "I can't wait to get back to my OWN kitchen!"

The truth is, my wanting to be in any kitchen at all is nothing short of miraculous. Before I got married, I was a bumbling wreck when it came to cooking, and my pride made me terrified of others seeing that I was an idiot who clearly had no idea what I was doing. So the prospect of grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking for Steve, day after day, for decades...well, it was daunting.

But God provided grace to change my heart. In April 2006, I wrote:
The resulting nine months of marriage have brought nothing less than an astounding outpouring of God's grace in my heart. By and large, He has changed my attitudes about cooking. I can even say that most of the time (though not always), I *gasp* enjoy it. ...Grace is the only way to explain it. I have no choice but to say humbly, "I was wrong about this--God really can, and does, give me what I need to be able to do what I need to do." I now find myself eagerly cutting out and trying new recipes.

...Left to my own efforts and attitudes, I would still be wallowing in resentment and self-pity, pride and fear, hating the responsibility of cooking dinner every night. And I have not "arrived," either as a godly woman OR as a chef--I still have plenty of growing to do! But I am boasting in God, because by His grace, I am serving my husband and thriving in the role God has given me.
Three years later, my skills have definitely improved (though I still have a long way to go). And I have to smile at the idea of what 22-year-old me would think to hear 26-year-old me say, "I can't wait to get back to my own kitchen!"

Three years later, I am trying to listen to 23-year-old me as she joyfully, trustingly speaks of God's provision for her needs and assures me that He will provide the grace I need in this season.

All that started as an introduction to a quote...but it went another direction, so I guess I'll have to save the quote for another post.


Anonymous said...

I am really happy to hear this. To comment on what God does in our lives, from the drastic to the daily, is something more people should do. I was a dreadful cook when I first got married. (Have I shared my recipe for Hockey Puck Parmesan?) I find that if I ask God for new inspiration, he'll provide it. I can honestly get more excited over the prospect of cooking one gourmet meal every once in a while than a month of average stuff. I wish I felt gourmet 2-3x/week! You'll hear about it when I do.

Amy said...

Hockey Puck Parmesan? I've GOT to hear that one!

Anonymous said...

I, too, have seen a lot of grace in the area of cooking! When we were first married, I used to be so fearful of inviting people over because I was prideful and didn't want others to know what an incompetent cook I was. Thankfully, although I still have a long way to go in this area, God has worked in my heart and allowed me to joyfully open our home during meal time. Thank you for blogging about this and helping me to realize what a work God has already done!

Unknown said...

Great post! But I was a little confused at your age, are you 26 then? LOL!