Monday, August 29, 2011

Joy. Here.

Friday afternoon found me sitting outside, massaging my temples, willing myself to choose gratitude over resentment, truth over emotions. Despite the blessings of our trip, let's just say it had been a long week on the road with my boys (1100 miles, three beds in four nights, no Daddy).

As I sat on our back patio thanking God for bugs chirping and wind blowing through leafy branches and sunlight creating patterns and shadows on the ground, I tried to preach truth to myself. My mind went to a familiar favorite, Psalm 16, as I reminded myself that "the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance" (v. 6). Then I thought about the last verse:

" your presence there is fullness of joy..." (Psalm 16:11)

If there is fullness of joy in His presence...and He is present everywhere, inescapable, never leaving or forsaking me...then there is joy HERE.

I think I've always read this verse as a hopeful Heaven promise. You know, on That Day, when every tear is wiped away, and sin and satan are forever destroyed, when we stand in the presence of God, *that's* where fullness of joy is. Here, today? Not so much.

But Friday afternoon, as I sat breathing deeply and willing Steve to pull in the driveway, it occurred to me that I have limited the scope of joy. It may be hiding. It is not all sunshine and rainbows; it may not look like I expect or think I prefer. I will have to fight to choose it. But I am in His presence here. That means there is joy here.

On days like today, I am not honestly sure how. But over and over and over again, God is trying to teach me to believe Him and fight for joy and choose to praise Him here, now. In His presence there is fullness of joy and He is *here* and joy is here. I will tell myself until I know it to be true.



Christ in the Chaos said...

"Hi" Amy! This was beautiful and encouraging :) keep preaching the truth to yourself...every minute.

faith ann raider said...

Really beautiful post Amy! I love how you brought us along your path of revelation. It can be such a struggle to choose gratitude when we're tired and worn out. Sometimes when I try to turn my attention towards gratitude I come up with nothing... next time I will have something extra to put on my list!

Sandra Leigh said...

amen and amen. I needed to hear this today! Thanks for pointing me heavenward, Amy.
Love ya!