School's In for the Summer

As students everywhere celebrate the close of the school doors for the summer, I'm celebrating exactly the opposite: for me, school started just last week!

June 1 marked the start of my second distance education class through the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. Many of you will remember the class I took last fall, which I raved about frequently. I'm thrilled to be enrolled in a follow-up to that course for the next twelve weeks.

Helping Relationships (formerly called Methods of Biblical Change) is described in our syllabus this way:

This is a methods course and is therefore designed to focus on the person who is counseling, the process of counseling, and the critical skills necessary to effect change. This course is a biblical methods course and so will focus on how to bring the person and work of the Redeemer to people in the midst of their problems. Helping Relationships will consider how God works change in our lives as a model for how we can function as instruments of change. ...It is meant to teach you how to function as God’s tool of change in the lives of others.

So, you can see that unlike much of high school, this class will be intensely practical and relevant to everyday life, as well as fascinating :)

The lecturing professor is Paul David Tripp. I haven't had a ton of exposure to his work, but I've liked what I have read, including about a quarter (so far) of his devotional book Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy. Tripp also wrote the two major textbooks for the class: Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change (which I've had on my Amazon wishlist for years) and War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles (which I bought more than a year ago wanting to read, but haven't gotten around to). How great is that--textbooks being books you actually *want* to read and would in fact read for pleasure even if they weren't required reading!

My last class provided a foundation for understanding the human heart in light of Scripture and helped me apply truth to my own life; I'm excited to learn more in this class about how to minister to others more effectively and apply the gospel to their struggles as well. And like last time, I hope to share here much of what I am learning. I'm so thankful for this opportunity!

Multitude Monday, Take 162

The gifts continue to multiply and I continue to write them down, to try and cultivate a grateful, content heart. This week I'm thanking God, from whom come all good gifts, for...

574. simple, yummy dinner out of the freezer after a week away
575. one last round of strawberries from the farmers' market
576. Elijah's exuberant dancing in the Target checkout line for no particular reason
577. Tuesday night prayer with other moms
578. late-afternoon thunderstorms

579. news that we're getting better insurance coverage for this pregnancy/birth than we expected
580. inviting me to cast my anxieties on Him because He cares for me
581. promising grace for what I face today, not grace for an imagined future
582. being more gentle and patient with me than I am with my child
583. a walk (with some galloping--I think Grammy taught him that last week) through Bicentennial Mall with my little man

584. long afternoon naps, for Elijah and for me
585. my firefighter-brother, kept safe in his first fatal fire
586. Steve's help bringing in and unloading groceries
587. my hero husband trying to set a trap, kill a you-know-what and dispose of it without me having to know a thing
588. peach juice dripping down hands

589. Steve's diligence in working on our clogged sink
590. perspective: gratitude for the ability to do dishes, once the sink finally got cleared
591. grilled cheese sandwich, cut in triangles
592. dinner that looked to be a disaster actually turning out delicious
593. yard sale deals

594. cool breezes on hot and humid days
595. friends around the dinner table
596. home-sweet-church after two Sundays away
597. ensuring that I learned Christ, have heard of Him and been taught in Him

Fullness of Joy, Strength for Today

I slept right through Husband's alarm early this morning, through running water and his dressing and kitchen noises. I stirred only as summer-morning light brightened our room, and in God's mercy, a string of Life-words came to mind first thing, unbidden:

"...the joy of the LORD is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10)
"Rejoice in the Lord always..." (Philippians 4:4)
"...in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore" (Psalm 16:11)

The God I serve is a JOYFUL God--and He invites me to share in His joy! By rejoicing in Him--choosing to rejoice--and embracing the joy He is and offers, I can have strength to "do hard things" today: to deny myself and love sacrificially, to engage with my son, to complete necessary tasks.

My pleasure-seeking heart will find the most possible joy in my Savior's presence. Pleasure and joy are not ultimately found in the mud puddles where I so often seek them--they are found in limitless supply in the fountain of Living Water! WHY have I hewn out for [myself] cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water?

O my soul, run to the Fountain today! Find fullness of joy in the presence of Emmanuel, God-with-us. Savor the pleasures of being at His right hand: the position you do not deserve and could not earn but enjoy all the same because of Jesus. Draw strength to walk faithfully in today's good-works-prepared-in-advance--planning and preparing food, playing and communicating intentionally with Elijah, changing diapers, cleaning dishes, hanging clothes on the line--from the joyful, happy God who welcomes you and wants you to glorify Him by enjoying Him forever.

Multitude Monday, Take 161

After ten days spent traveling (more posts on that to come), my cup is full, full, full of blessings--more gifts than I can count. Thanking God for all of them, including...

550. safe travels over 1500+ miles
551. time away with just my hubby
552. grandparents who adore my son and are willing to care for him while we're gone
553. Elijah's love for his grandparents and the fact that he wasn't sad while we were gone
554. the squeals and jumping up and down that greeted us when we returned after five days

555. beautiful lakes around every corner in northern Michigan
556. roads that wind along the shore
557. shifting sand dunes
558. being an unchanging Rock
559. orchards and vineyards

560. ice cream cones, a vacation staple
561. quiet early-morning kayaking
562. tandem bicycles
563. muscles to paddle and pedal and hike
564. fresh, local asparagus

565. fascinating knowledge gleaned about the processes of making cheese and wine
566. a camera to capture moments of beauty, hilarity, cuteness
567. sunscreen that protected me from getting fried
568. citronella candles
569. cherry vanilla Pepsi at a gas station in south central Michigan, oh happy discovery

570. a baby bump to camouflage all the vacation calories
571. a church I miss
572. home sweet home
573. the eternal Home that awaits me

Multitude Monday, Take 160

Thanking God this week for...

533. LeechBlock, an add-on for Firefox that is helping me manage my computer time better
534. progress in Ephesians memorization after a long time of laying it aside
535. helpful advice on handling Elijah's whining and on doing more scripting with him
536. the variety of animals God created, and the fact that we can see and enjoy many of them at the zoo
537. friends who met us at the zoo for an outing last week

538. getting to hear the baby's heartbeat again
539. the fact that Steve gets home early enough that I can take a late-afternoon nap before dinner on days when I really need it
540. prayer with other moms at my friend Lydia's house
541. the "play" button on the keyboard, so I don't have to go back and forth between keyboard and mouse
542. cool enough weather to wear long sleeves and long pants for mosquito protection

543. Jesus Came to Save Sinners, a FREE five-song children's worship album from The Village Church (Elijah and I are loving it!)
544. the reality that Jesus really did come to save sinners!
545. clean out the refrigerator night
546. getting a card in the mailbox just moments before the mailman arrived
547. the ability to research a vacation, get directions and maps, etc., so easily online

548. the joy of seeing Elijah learn new things
549. mercy and grace extended to me, over and over and over again

The Gospel is the Umpire

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful" (Colossians 3:15).

My pastor preached a sermon a few weeks ago that included an analogy I'm still thinking about. He examined Colossians 3:15-17, and began by asking: What is the peace of Christ, and what does it mean for that peace to rule in your heart?

The first thing to note is that "the peace of Christ" isn't primarily a subjective feeling. It's not, "ahh, I feel calm" or "I have a peace about it." It's the peace that Christ bought--the objective fact that as Christians, we are reconciled to God because Christ "[made] peace by the blood of his cross" (Colossians 1:20). Jesus has purchased peace for us--once God's enemies, we are now His friends, servants, sons and daughters. Because of Christ's obedient life and sacrificial death, our sins are forgiven and God is well pleased with us!

So that's the peace that needs to rule in our hearts: the truth that we are at peace with God through the cross of Christ. The next question is, what does it mean for that peace to "rule" in our hearts?

My pastor suggested that the word "rule" in this context means "to act like an umpire." A strange thought. What does an umpire do? He declares what the ball is. When the pitch comes right across the plate, he calls it a strike. When it's outside the box, he calls it a ball. He makes a judgment about the ball, about the pitch--and in this way he rules over the game.

That's what we are to do with "the peace of Christ"--the reality of being reconciled to God (in other words, the gospel). We are to make the gospel the judge over our hearts: our thoughts, our emotions, our desires, our will. The peace that Christ has purchased should rule over every aspect of our lives.

A thought comes into your mind: Is it true, in line with God's Word? Judge it in light of the gospel, and keep it or throw it out.

An emotion starts to consume you: Does it reflect the reality of who God is and what He has done, especially in Christ? Or is it growing out of sinful, idolatrous desires? Let the gospel determine whether that emotion is appropriate or whether it needs to be replaced.

You want to speak certain words: Are they full of grace, reflective of the gospel? Or would they be best left unsaid? Evaluate them in light of the person and work of Jesus, and then determine whether to speak them or hold your tongue.

It means letting the gospel saturate our thoughts, our words, our actions. It means everything we do and say is informed by and flows out of the reality that in Christ, we have been reconciled to God. The peace of Christ rules--makes judgments over, determines the truth about--every aspect of our lives.

I've written before about the struggle of trusting my own limited perceptions of a situation rather than believing what God says. It's all too easy to judge God and His work in light of my emotions and circumstances, rather than judging my emotions and circumstances based on the truth of God's character and promises.

So that's the challenge of Colossians 3:15 - to let the peace that Christ has purchased, the reality of the gospel, rule as umpire over my mind and heart. By God's grace, I want the reality of the gospel--what Christ has done and who I am in Him--to be the dominant feature of my thinking and to govern my emotions, my words, and my actions.

We Finally Meet

It's kind of crazy how God chooses to weave friendships together.

I think a lot of people think the idea of "friend I've never met in real life" or "friend I met online" is a little sketchy or weird. For sure it's becoming a lot more normal in our generation...but it seems like there's still something about it that makes people raise an eyebrow. Still, slightly sheepish as even I feel about it, I've met some amazing women through blogging and through a message board, and I'm thankful for the ways that our paths have crossed and the interactions I've had with them.

What's unique about this particular "internet-friendship" is that we easily could have known each other in real life. In fact, it's strange that we didn't.

Kristin and I were at Indiana Wesleyan University together from 2000-2003 (she graduated a year before I did). It's not a big school to begin with--about 2200 students on campus at the time. Still, reasonable to think we'd never met. Surprising, though, when you consider that we had several mutual friends. More surprising still when we realized we'd been in the Honors College together--a group of only 100 students, and we certainly sat just a few feet apart in meetings several times.

Yet for whatever reason, it wasn't until three years ago that our lives intersected. Somehow, probably through a mutual friend's blog, Kristin ran across my blog. She started reading, and realized how much we now had in common. And then she followed an impulse that she says was totally uncharacteristic for her, but for which I am endlessly grateful: she sent me a long email introducing herself and sharing some of our commonalities.

It was fun to hear from her, and that began the casual, occasional exchange of a few emails. Then we went through childbirth and the difficult adjustment to motherhood together (her son is just two weeks younger than Elijah). Our friendship deepened, and the emails increased in frequency. We developed the kind of closeness that often, strangely, only comes through a long-distance friendship, when you can do nothing together except talk a lot, and you feel safe sharing deep parts of your heart while you sit in front of a computer screen.

We said several times that we hoped we'd get to meet in person someday. And then this spring, Kristin's sweet husband gave us the gift of a plane ticket for her to come visit me!

It was so much fun to greet her and her adorable baby daughter at the airport, then spend the next two and a half days talking pretty much nonstop. We had so many unfinished email conversations (topics you don't feel like taking the time to type all your thoughts on) to get back to, so many background/history details to fill in. And we enjoyed laughing together, eating cookie dough ice cream, picking strawberries, exploring Nashville and watching our kids interact (when Elijah wasn't trying to take Sarah's toys away...).


I'm so glad Kristin wrote that email out of the blue three years ago! She is a beautiful woman of God, inside and out, and spending time with her in person was truly a gift. I have been so blessed by her challenging questions, her humble and honest example, and the gospel encouragement she provides. This is a friend who loves the Savior and who inspires me to follow hard after Him--the best kind of friend.

Multitude Monday, Take 159

Thanking God this week for...

512. McKay's bookstore in Nashville--tons of great deals on used books
513. the detour on the way home that took us past 25+ school buses, much to Elijah's delight
514. getting us safely to the gas station before the tank ran dry
515. roadside strawberries
516. pizza night out with my guys for a belated Mother's Day celebration

517. lunch with a friend, and her generosity in loaning me an extra carseat for the weekend
518. the satisfaction that comes with productivity
519. thyme on manager's special at the grocery when I needed it
520. first chicken, corn and tomato pitas of the summer
521. the fact that after Elijah's meltdown because there were no car carts at Kroger, we at least didn't *see* any other kids driving them in the store--and a snack kept him pacified the rest of the time

522. a friend's gentle reminder of what my priorities should be
523. encouragement from Elijah's new teachers and much progress made
524. more local strawberries, this time hand-picked by us
525. the fact that we finished picking just as the clouds opened up and a storm began
526. a wonderful weekend with my dear friend Kristin (which needs a whole post of its own)

527. Steve's hard work outside on Saturday, especially cutting down the bushes that had overtaken the front of our house
528. all the light that can now stream in our living room windows
529. news of *another* pregnancy at church (bringing the grand total to SEVEN in a church of less than 100 adult members!)
530. Elijah's eagerness to take naps
531. energy and motivation to start a Monday morning

532. the fact that Christ DESCENDED (Eph. 4:9-10)--He lowered Himself to our level because we could not raise ourselves to His!

The Simple Woman's Daybook ~ 5.12.10

Just a little Simple Woman's Daybook for today...

Outside my window...
overcast, but very, very green. I think every spring I forget how beautiful the color green is. Our neighborhood is so *alive*.

I am thinking...
about cutting all my hair off. I've been thinking about it for months now and that's as far as it gets, partly out of sheer laziness (in finding pictures of what I like and making an appointment) and partly out of dread that I will hate the new haircut. My hair is as long as it's been since college (rapidly nearing my waist, holy moly) and it doesn't have much style, but it's so *easy* and low-maintenance.

I am thankful for...
the opportunity to take another CCEF class! I just registered this week for a class that begins June 1. I can't wait.

From the kitchen...
fresh strawberries! I paid way too much money to a farmer who was selling them on the side of the road yesterday afternoon--but MMM, are they fantastic. So that means strawberry shortcake (made the RIGHT way...cup-shaped sponge cakes and strawberry goo need not apply) and my favorite summer salad.

I am wearing...
a white tank top under a green short-sleeved shirt and maternity denim capris. I've just about given up on the non-maternity pants...but still hanging on to a couple of pairs :) plus my favorite black flip-flops which pretty much don't leave my feet all spring/summer/fall.

I am creating...
a baby :) Well, sort of. God certainly *created* the baby...I guess I'm just helping him/her grow. That's as close as it gets to "creating" here lately.

I am going...
to get a bunch of video clips of Elijah edited and posted online very soon. Really, I am. I promise, Mom.

I am reading...
several different books at once, as usual. I put the Civil War book aside for a while and sped through a heartbreaking, compelling book on the 1994 Rwanda genocide, Shake Hands with the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda. I also finished Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church and Total Church: A Radical Reshaping Around Gospel and Community this week. I'm still in the middle of various other books, including Calm My Anxious Heart, Everyday Talk, and The Mission of Motherhood. Bible-wise, I'm in Judges on my own and Galatians with Steve (we'll probably be there for the rest of 2010, based on the speed at which we manage to get through studies :).

I am hoping...
to grow in choosing joy and laying down my life in service/worship. I have so, so far to go.

I am hearing...
blissful quiet. White noise machine, birds singing, cars whizzing by. And the occasional noise that signals Elijah is thinking about waking up soon.

Around the house...
the couch cushions are stacked high on a chair because their covers are hanging on the clothesline to dry. I don't normally get that ambitious, and the ballpoint pen scribbles all over two of them really weren't urgent. But last night there was a slug on my couch. A SLUG, y'all. On my COUCH. As in, leaves-a-slime-trail-everywhere-it-goes slug. *shiver* Yeah, the cushion covers suddenly had a very urgent need to be washed.

One of my favorite things...
the feeling of satisfaction from being productive. All too rare for my lazy self lately--but today has been a good day so far.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
SUPER DUPER exciting! Tomorrow evening I am driving to the airport and picking up a dear, dear friend...whom I've not actually met in real life (long story, probably coming next week)...and I get to spend the entire weekend with her and her baby daughter! The visit has been in the works since early February and I can't believe it's finally here.

A picture thought I am sharing...
Elijah, giggling about who knows what...and then helping Daddy mow the grass. His favorite thing lately is his "cool dude glasses"--the ones in the photo are actually a pair of Steve's, but he has two pairs of his own and wears them all the time, including indoors. In fact, just for fun I'll throw in a third picture, of him wearing his own glasses--one of the girls at church took it last Sunday. She posted it on Facebook but apparently my friends couldn't see it.

Multitude Monday, Take 158

Thanking God this week for...

493. peonies in full bloom
494. tiny baby kicks and jabs
495. the archives of my blog, and being convicted/encouraged by old posts
496. hand-me-downs for Elijah
497. the super nice and helpful police officer who did a carseat check for us

498. a friend from church's willingness to watch Elijah on short notice
499. the nice woman who drew my blood quickly and skillfully
500. restaurant knock-off recipes available online
501. Elijah running around in nothing but a diaper
502. big-boy bare feet slap-slapping across the hardwood floor

503. an evening walk with my guys
504. the countless ways Elijah cracks me up, including appropriate use of the phrases, "Are you kidding me?" and "Oh, man!"
505. Scripture set to music
506. movie night with Steve
507. the privilege and blessing of officially joining our church yesterday

508. my mom
509. my mother-in-law
510. the gift of motherhood
511. the beautiful example set by women who are not physically mothers but who nurture, care for, teach and encourage others nonetheless

Why Christians Need the Gospel

I'm not going to stop beating the gospel drum around here anytime soon. The gospel is not just the story unbelievers need to hear...it is the fuel that empowers every moment of our lives as followers of Christ! I thought Justin Taylor's recent post on this was a clear and helpful illustration for those who struggle to understand the concept of "gospel-centeredness":

The dominant mode of evangelical preaching on sanctification, the main way to motivate for godly living, sounds something like this:

You are not _____;

You should be _________;

Therefore, do or be ________!

Fill in the blank with anything good and biblical (holy; salt and light; feed the poor; walk humbly; give generously; etc.).

This is not how Paul and the other New Testament writers motivated the church in light of the resurrection and the outpouring of the Spirit. They did give imperatives (=what you should do), but they do so only based on indicatives (=what God has done).

The problem with the typical evangelical motivation toward radical or sacrificial living is that “imperatives divorced from indicatives become impossibilities” (to quote Tullian Tchividjian). Or another way that Tullian puts it: “gospel obligations must be based on gospel declarations.”

Read the rest of the post "Imperatives - Indicatives = Impossibilities" for more thoughts on becoming what you are through the gospel.

Your Prayers Are Too Small

A couple of days ago, I read a short quote (via Justin Taylor, pulled from Twitter) that I found convicting and challenging:

If Jesus answered all your prayers from the last 30 days, would anything change in THE World or just YOUR world?

I have to confess that although I and the people around me might be significantly changed, the impact would not really be felt outside my sphere of influence. I sometimes pride myself on praying eternally significant things--not just "bless and be with" my loved ones or "heal so-and-so's physical ailment," but praying for changed hearts and transformed lives in the midst of circumstances; praying Scripture.

Yet I see that my vision needs to be bigger because my God is bigger. As He was keen to show Israel, He is not a small, local, tribal God; He is the one true God over every nation. He is the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, and He is calling people from EVERY tribe and language and nation and tongue to be saved by and know and worship Him. It's not just the people I know who He wants to transform into the likeness of Christ!

Enlarge my heart, Lord, and expand my vision. Cause me to love and care about, and thus to pray for, not only those with whom I have a relationship now, but my brothers and sisters around the world, and the poor and lost and suffering around the world as well as in my own backyard. Make me passionate to see Your kingdom come, Your will be done, to see You glorified--not merely in my own life or in my family or church, but in the whole world--to see Your name exalted, to see Jesus worshipped everywhere.

Multitude Monday, Take 157

As always, much to be thankful for this week--and last, though I didn't get a post up. Thanking God lately for...

462. diapers on sale when we needed them
463. prayer with other moms
464. evidence of God's grace at work in me
465. a friend letting me get rid of my junk in her garage sale
466. safe travels

467. humidifiers and eucalyptus oil
468. Elijah's generally sunny disposition and cooperativeness while Steve was working long hours and I was on my own parenting
469. the fact that Steve rarely ever has to work long hours
470. my favorite jersey knit maternity capri pants
471. yummy salads I didn't have to make

472. Elijah's love for his grandparents and uncle
473. our families' delight in Elijah
474. dimples in little elbows
475. stain remover that got spaghetti sauce out of a white shirt
476. families who are supportive and respectful of our decisions

477. opportunity to be at home with our families while Steve was out of town on business
478. my parents' and in-laws' serving me by caring for Elijah
479. feeling more baby movement!
480. the countless ways Elijah makes us laugh
481. huge stack of old magazines my aunt gave me (to cut out pictures for my visual journal)

482. visits with dear friends
483. pizza subs
484. beautiful full moon, orange and low in the sky
485. sermon podcasts
486. three shades of lilacs growing together along the road

487. grace to resume memorization work in Ephesians
488. the fact that my parents and in-laws live only five minutes apart
489. grace to get up early
490. a dry house
491. peonies beginning to bloom

492. His sovereignty over sunshine and rain

A Mess and a Savior

It's one thing to read articles on humility and receiving criticism and think, "Wow, that's such godly, helpful advice. Mmm, good stuff." It's quite another thing to apply that godly wisdom when it's *your* reputation on the line--when the criticism is no longer abstract, but personal.

A couple of times recently, I've been faced with a difficult decision: Do I keep up appearances so this person will think highly of me, or do I share with complete honesty the ugly parts of myself? Do I defend myself against this person, or do I quietly accept what's true in their critique and graciously, humbly ignore the rest?

In thinking about these blows to my pride, I've found it really helpful to return to Milton Vincent's words from A Gospel Primer for Christians:

The Cross also exposes me before the eyes of other people, informing them of the depth of my depravity. If I wanted others to think highly of me, I would conceal the fact that a shameful slaughter of the perfect Son of God was required that I might be saved. But when I stand at the foot of the Cross and am seen by others under the light of that Cross, I am left uncomfortably exposed before their eyes. Indeed, the most humiliating gossip that could ever be whispered about me is blared from Golgotha's hill; and my self-righteous reputation is left in ruins in the wake of its revelations. With the worst facts about me thus exposed to the view of others, I find myself feeling that I truly have nothing left to hide.

The truth is: I am a mess. By God's grace, He is revealing this truth to me more and more. And (in the words of my wise mentor) if He needs to reveal that truth to others, may He do so in order that they may also see what a Savior I have and what a Mess-Cleaner-Upper He is!

Calling it Beautiful

I wrote the following several months ago, as part of my self-counseling project for the class I took last fall. Mornings generally look different these days, but this week I am needing to re-preach these truths to myself. Thought maybe a few of you might benefit from the overhearing...

After rising early and having quiet time, I have been on the computer for a while before my two-year-old wakes up. When I hear him, I bring him downstairs, change his diaper. Eager to play, he doesn’t care about eating. So instead of fixing breakfast immediately and starting the day’s tasks, I return to the computer. I don’t feel like making eggs and oatmeal, sitting at the table for what seems like an eternity while Elijah eats. I only want to do what’s easy, pleasant, convenient―and breakfast with a toddler is none of these.

No matter how many earnest pep talks I hear, I don’t really believe the everyday tasks of a mother/homemaker are significant; to be honest, I’m bored with them. Or in another sense, I’m intimidated by them―I’m afraid of not doing them well. The computer was more interesting, and didn’t require much of me.

When I finally start breakfast, Elijah suddenly realizes he’s hungry. He whines impatiently, and I snap at him. I haven’t connected with him at all except in irritation; instead, I’ve communicated that other things are more important than serving and loving him. He’s oblivious at two, but he’ll sense this keenly at four, six, ten.

The time I spent at the computer is time I no longer have to complete today’s necessary tasks. Later this afternoon or evening, I’ll feel discouraged, frazzled, guilty or stressed because I don’t have time to finish my work. Inevitably, those emotions will tempt me to escape again.

By deeming my job uninteresting and tiresome, I’ve ignored the truth that “God is so great that all things give Him glory―if you mean that they should” (St. Ignatius Loyola). I’ve forgotten that somehow, even if I don’t understand the dynamic, God receives my oatmeal-fixing and face-wiping and “eat two bites of egg and then you can have another grape” negotiating as spiritual acts of worship (Romans 12:1).

These monotonous, unglamorous breakfasts are the lines God determined for my life. He arranged my circumstances, my portion, my lot (Psalm 16:5-6). He prepared in advance good works for me to do―in this time, in this place (Ephesians 2:10). So the ordinary tasks I face today are the ones God laid out for me. He calls them good, and He ordains that I walk in them.

Father, forgive my unbelief. You need nothing, and yet You accept the smallest acts of duty as acts of worship, if only they are infused with love. I have refused to offer the small, pretending instead that greater things would be more valuable―deluded in thinking even the grandest thing I did would be more than a speck of dust in Your hands. Teach me to lay down my pretensions of “something greater” and love in this way, in these moments, in the good works You carefully laid out not for someone else to do, but for me to do. Teach me to love over eggs and oatmeal.

When I finally get up from the computer, I can choose to replace guilt and shame with repentance and grace. As I make breakfast, I can ask God to nourish my soul with the truth of the gospel as I nourish Elijah’s little body with protein and fiber. By His grace, I will return impatient whining with gentle words, even an apology―no matter if it is not yet understood; I am laying down paths that will be easier to walk later for having been forged today. And tomorrow, I will choose breakfast instead of blogs. I will choose the portion and cup that have been chosen for me, the good works God has prepared for me to do.

I can’t see beauty when I’m escaping, hiding. The lot doesn’t look grand and glorious when I’m staring at the fence, contemplating how to climb over and get out. But when I turn around and believe what God says about this portion, these boundary lines, His perspective can become my own. I can call my inheritance beautiful.

When I serve my son gladly, even in mundane and frustrating tasks―when I set eggs and oatmeal before him each morning promptly, with no yelling―he will feel secure and loved. As he grows, he will see his mama serving a God who is good, whose purposes are loving and wise. He will learn that whatever our portion looks like, it is good because it is from the sovereign Lord, and because He is in it―He is my portion.