A Mess and a Savior

It's one thing to read articles on humility and receiving criticism and think, "Wow, that's such godly, helpful advice. Mmm, good stuff." It's quite another thing to apply that godly wisdom when it's *your* reputation on the line--when the criticism is no longer abstract, but personal.

A couple of times recently, I've been faced with a difficult decision: Do I keep up appearances so this person will think highly of me, or do I share with complete honesty the ugly parts of myself? Do I defend myself against this person, or do I quietly accept what's true in their critique and graciously, humbly ignore the rest?

In thinking about these blows to my pride, I've found it really helpful to return to Milton Vincent's words from A Gospel Primer for Christians:

The Cross also exposes me before the eyes of other people, informing them of the depth of my depravity. If I wanted others to think highly of me, I would conceal the fact that a shameful slaughter of the perfect Son of God was required that I might be saved. But when I stand at the foot of the Cross and am seen by others under the light of that Cross, I am left uncomfortably exposed before their eyes. Indeed, the most humiliating gossip that could ever be whispered about me is blared from Golgotha's hill; and my self-righteous reputation is left in ruins in the wake of its revelations. With the worst facts about me thus exposed to the view of others, I find myself feeling that I truly have nothing left to hide.

The truth is: I am a mess. By God's grace, He is revealing this truth to me more and more. And (in the words of my wise mentor) if He needs to reveal that truth to others, may He do so in order that they may also see what a Savior I have and what a Mess-Cleaner-Upper He is!

Calling it Beautiful

I wrote the following several months ago, as part of my self-counseling project for the class I took last fall. Mornings generally look different these days, but this week I am needing to re-preach these truths to myself. Thought maybe a few of you might benefit from the overhearing...

After rising early and having quiet time, I have been on the computer for a while before my two-year-old wakes up. When I hear him, I bring him downstairs, change his diaper. Eager to play, he doesn’t care about eating. So instead of fixing breakfast immediately and starting the day’s tasks, I return to the computer. I don’t feel like making eggs and oatmeal, sitting at the table for what seems like an eternity while Elijah eats. I only want to do what’s easy, pleasant, convenient―and breakfast with a toddler is none of these.

No matter how many earnest pep talks I hear, I don’t really believe the everyday tasks of a mother/homemaker are significant; to be honest, I’m bored with them. Or in another sense, I’m intimidated by them―I’m afraid of not doing them well. The computer was more interesting, and didn’t require much of me.

When I finally start breakfast, Elijah suddenly realizes he’s hungry. He whines impatiently, and I snap at him. I haven’t connected with him at all except in irritation; instead, I’ve communicated that other things are more important than serving and loving him. He’s oblivious at two, but he’ll sense this keenly at four, six, ten.

The time I spent at the computer is time I no longer have to complete today’s necessary tasks. Later this afternoon or evening, I’ll feel discouraged, frazzled, guilty or stressed because I don’t have time to finish my work. Inevitably, those emotions will tempt me to escape again.

By deeming my job uninteresting and tiresome, I’ve ignored the truth that “God is so great that all things give Him glory―if you mean that they should” (St. Ignatius Loyola). I’ve forgotten that somehow, even if I don’t understand the dynamic, God receives my oatmeal-fixing and face-wiping and “eat two bites of egg and then you can have another grape” negotiating as spiritual acts of worship (Romans 12:1).

These monotonous, unglamorous breakfasts are the lines God determined for my life. He arranged my circumstances, my portion, my lot (Psalm 16:5-6). He prepared in advance good works for me to do―in this time, in this place (Ephesians 2:10). So the ordinary tasks I face today are the ones God laid out for me. He calls them good, and He ordains that I walk in them.

Father, forgive my unbelief. You need nothing, and yet You accept the smallest acts of duty as acts of worship, if only they are infused with love. I have refused to offer the small, pretending instead that greater things would be more valuable―deluded in thinking even the grandest thing I did would be more than a speck of dust in Your hands. Teach me to lay down my pretensions of “something greater” and love in this way, in these moments, in the good works You carefully laid out not for someone else to do, but for me to do. Teach me to love over eggs and oatmeal.

When I finally get up from the computer, I can choose to replace guilt and shame with repentance and grace. As I make breakfast, I can ask God to nourish my soul with the truth of the gospel as I nourish Elijah’s little body with protein and fiber. By His grace, I will return impatient whining with gentle words, even an apology―no matter if it is not yet understood; I am laying down paths that will be easier to walk later for having been forged today. And tomorrow, I will choose breakfast instead of blogs. I will choose the portion and cup that have been chosen for me, the good works God has prepared for me to do.

I can’t see beauty when I’m escaping, hiding. The lot doesn’t look grand and glorious when I’m staring at the fence, contemplating how to climb over and get out. But when I turn around and believe what God says about this portion, these boundary lines, His perspective can become my own. I can call my inheritance beautiful.

When I serve my son gladly, even in mundane and frustrating tasks―when I set eggs and oatmeal before him each morning promptly, with no yelling―he will feel secure and loved. As he grows, he will see his mama serving a God who is good, whose purposes are loving and wise. He will learn that whatever our portion looks like, it is good because it is from the sovereign Lord, and because He is in it―He is my portion.

Multitude Monday, Take 156

I think it's about time I share with you all some special things I am grateful for. Over the last fifteen weeks, I've been thanking God for many unusual blessings, including...

450. nausea that was mild and only lasted a couple of months
451. this adorable t-shirt I found on Etsy for Elijah

452. the fact that my toddler still takes great naps, so I can too
453. choices when it comes to care providers
454. maternity clothes a friend generously let me borrow
455. several friends at church all due within a month or so of me
456. the ability to conceive

457. the incredible way He knits babies together in their mothers' wombs
458. getting to hear a strong heartbeat this afternoon
459. the tiny flutters I think I am just starting to feel
460. the gift of motherhood
461. the grace He promises to provide for each new blessing He brings

A Fight to See

Amazingly enough, I actually *did* do a little writing last week besides gratitude lists and the Simple Woman's Daybook. I just didn't do it here. Sweet Anna from Hope Road, who's a new mom as of February, asked me to write a guest post on motherhood for her blog. I've never been a guest blogger before! And I hardly feel I have anything worthwhile to say on motherhood; most days I feel more desperate, inadequate and unqualified than anything else. (It at least makes me feel a little better than even Ann has days when she feels her mothering license should be revoked!).

Anyway, not having been a mama very long myself, I don't have a whole lot of wisdom to offer, but I was honored to share a little of what I'm learning with Anna's readers:

It was fitting, perhaps, that I was on a walk with my toddler earlier this week when I was gently reminded of how to faithfully walk out the calling of motherhood. I was listening to a podcast (completely unrelated to parenting) in which the speaker noted that faith is the opposite of three things: sight, fear, and doubt. Of course, this isn't earth-shattering; I know the familiar verse, “we walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor. 5:7)--but I was struck by his first point, the direct way he phrased the definition: “Faith is the opposite of sight.”

The more I grow as a mother, the more convinced I am that motherhood is a fight to see: a fight to close my physical eyes and and view my life and my son with eyes of faith. Faith means trusting not what I see in front of me, and not what my emotions loudly proclaim, but what God says is true about Himself, about me, and about my circumstances.

Read the rest at Hope Road.

Multitude Monday, Take 155

Thanking God this week for..

423. a freshly mowed yard
424. the fact that Elijah only has to go to the dentist twice a year
425. no cavities
426. the gift of literacy
427. imagination and stories

428. endless quantities of books accessible to me
429. prayer time with other moms
430. my good old Toyota Camry
431. maps on the internet
432. opportunity to shop at Costco with a friend

433. Elijah's delight in seeing Llama Llama Red Pajama at the downtown library
434. ducks and flowers at Centennial Park
435. grace to preach to myself
436. His extravagant promises
437. the gift of writing

438. the smell of Steve's freshly-ground coffee
439. my new ESV thinline Bible
440. birthday money to buy it
441. fast, free shipping from Amazon
442. coupons, coupons everywhere

443. dinner out with girlfriends
444. Steve giving Elijah a haircut and bath while I was gone
445. lots of time outside in the sunshine
446. three loads of laundry dried on the line for free
447. opportunities for Steve to help others and have guy-time

448. fellowship with friends last night
449. reminders that He is bigger and more generous than we tend to think

The Simple Woman's Daybook ~ 4.7.10

Was hoping for a nap on this overcast afternoon, but the little man is restless upstairs and I don't trust him to stay asleep long enough. So, instead, a little Simple Woman's Daybook...

Outside my window...
green, green everywhere! Loving the buds on trees, the splashes of purple along the highway, the peony bushes popping up in our front yard. Steve mowed for the first time this week and cut down all the overgrown, ridiculous monkey grass around our back patio and all the weeds in the front yard. Everything looks so much nicer, fresher, cleaner!

I am thinking...
about taking Elijah outside for a bit before the storms roll in. He just loves running around outside...I don't know where all that energy comes from. And I can see we are going to have to start giving him baths a LOT more often this summer :)

I am thankful for...
the Tuesday night prayer gathering that my friend Lydia has started--she has invited several moms from our church to come to her house and pray for our children each Tuesday night. Last night was only the second one, but it is so refreshing to my soul and I can see it quickly becoming a highlight of my week. So grateful for the opportunity to come together with other women and praise our King, confess our sins, thank the Lord for His grace and intercede for our kiddos and each other.

From the kitchen...
sloppy lentils in the crockpot for dinner; ribs on deck for tomorrow night. We'll be having leftover macaroni and cheese with the ribs--unfortunately it is gross leftover mac-n-cheese. I do NOT recommend this recipe from the Pioneer Woman. I do like this one from AllRecipes.com, though I think it needs less breadcrumbs.

I am wearing...
jeans with the cuffs rolled up to create cropped pants, a gray Hilton Head Island t-shirt, and my favorite black Reef flip-flops. They aren't the cutest flip-flops ever (I don't really love the wide strap style) but they are ridiculously comfy, so I don't care.

I am creating...
nothing much these days.

I am going...
to be guest-blogging somewhere else soon...if I can think of something to write. Really need to get on that. Yikes!

I am reading...
Still plugging away at Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era--I'm about halfway through. Reading Calm My Anxious Heart with my mentor, Diane. Have recently picked up Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church and Everyday Talk. Our church is still going through (and I am still loving) Total Church: A Radical Reshaping Around Gospel and Community. Meaning to get back to Sacred Parenting and Playful Parenting; still have not started Nourishing Traditions. So many books, so little time! Bible-wise, I'm in Joshua and also starting Galatians with Steve.

I am hoping...
that my new ESV Bible--a thinline, bought with birthday money, so I have something more portable than my huge ESV Study Bible--will arrive this week. And that I can somehow keep the grocery spending low, low, low the rest of the month to compensate for the ridiculous amount of money I spent this morning on my first-ever trip to Costco. Yikes.

I am hearing...
Elijah making occasional babbles on the monitor. The sounds of buses, and middle schoolers exuberant about school being out for the day.

Around the house...
is a disgusting little you-know-what (rhymes with house). Scared the living daylights out of me early this morning when Steve and I were sitting on the couch and it ran out from behind the mantel. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I can't even tell you how much I hate and fear those things, irrational though I know it is. The January one was caught in less than 24 hours; I am hoping this one will be dead and disposed of by my wonderful hubby before I wake up tomorrow morning. *shiver*

One of my favorite things...
rhubarb! Found a bunch of it in the freezer from last summer that I'd tucked away and forgotten about, so I made muffins last night--YUM. Can't wait for all the fabulous fresh fruit of summer: strawberries, watermelon, peaches, more rhubarb...

A few plans for the rest of the week...
We'll be heading to a small group prayer gathering at the home of some church friends tonight. As of last week, we're meeting with a couple of families who live near us on Wednesday nights, instead of driving all the way to the church for prayer meeting.

Tomorrow I am planning to take Elijah to the main library downtown for a live production of Llama Llama Red Pajama! He adores the Llama Llama books, and I've heard the main library is amazing, so I'm really looking forward to it. If the weather is decent, I think we'll pack a picnic lunch and spend some time at Centennial Park afterward.

Not sure what I'll be doing Friday--a couple of possibilities still up in the air. Then on Sunday, Lord willing, we will be officially welcomed as covenant members of our church!

A picture thought I am sharing...
two shots from this last weekend: Elijah and his buddy Joel driving around in Joel's Gator (what a riot) and E in his Easter outfit from Grandma & Grandpa. I love putting him in sweater vests...the cuteness just kills me :)

Multitude Monday, Take 154

Thanking God this week for...

393. the cross
394. the empty tomb
395. the Resurrection's promise that one day I, too, will be raised
396. Elijah's recent habit of sleeping in late
397. listening to Elijah sing "Snuggle Puppy"

398. grace to get up early
399. grace to resist temptation
400. long walks in the warm sunshine
401. a new Tim Keller study on Galatians
402. sheets hanging on the line

403. ridiculous, extravagant grace
404. Christ our sin-bearer
405. prayer with families from church
406. new opportunities for mentoring
407. Elijah coming in from play time outside without whining

408. His adoption of us
409. being Emmanuel - God WITH us
410. bright yellow forsythia
411. tiny green leaves
412. big pink flowers on trees

413. painted toenails
414. safe travels to Ohio and back
415. gentle rocking on a porch swing
416. afternoon outside with my best friend
417. getting to see Wicked (belated birthday present from my parents)

418. dinner at Bravo (part two of my present)
419. Elijah's love for our families
420. mercy that caused me to be born again to a living hope
421. an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading
422. the reality and centrality of the gospel

Elijah Graduates!

I mentioned when Elijah turned two that we were doing early intervention with him. His pediatrician had some development concerns, especially in the area of communication delays, so beginning in March or April of last year, we had a teacher coming to the house once a week to work with him.

Last month, it was time for his annual review, to look at our goals for him and see how he was doing. His teacher and I decided that it would be good to get a new evaluation done, so a few weeks ago, a developmental specialist came and took him through the same testing that we did a year ago.

We were delighted to hear that he has made so much progress, he is no longer eligible for early intervention services! Our little man has grown SO much in the last year. He still has a delay in communication, but it's not enough to qualify for ongoing help. So, it was with gratitude and some sadness that we recently said goodbye to Miss Holly, Elijah's teacher, who has become a sweet friend over the past twelve months. Elijah enjoyed her visits so much that I had to be sure not to mention she was coming until I saw her car in the driveway!

We're certainly thankful that some of the early questions/concerns are no longer on the table, and glad to see Elijah growing and talking more and more. Yet it seems appropriate to revisit the words I wrote last August about this subject:

...more and more I'm inclined to think our little guy is simply a late bloomer, but the questions remain the same: Is my hope in my son being "normal" (or even "exceptionally bright"), or is my hope in God? Is Christ my greatest treasure? Do I believe that He is sovereign, good, and loving, regardless of whatever challenges my son may or may not face? Will I let my fearful heart run away with "what-ifs," or will I choose to put my trust in the Lord?

I'm reminded of a conversation Steve and I had over a year ago, in which he drew a comparison between two men we know: one brilliant, but obnoxiously so; the other simple, yet loving and wise. Steve remarked that while of course he’d love to have a bright, intelligent child, comparing these two men showed him that intelligence isn’t the best or most important thing to hope for. Wouldn’t we rather have a wise son, one who is devoted to God and trusts Him, than a brilliant son, when brilliance is so often a stumbling block (both in relationships with other people and in submission to God)?

Rather than hoping that Elijah would be smart or being disappointed if he’s not, rather than worrying about all his milestones and whether he’s developmentally behind other children, our job is to nurture and enjoy him for who he is—not who we might foolishly think we want him to be.

Multitude Monday, Take 153

The practice of gratitude was put to the test for me last Thursday night.

I didn't put up a thankful list last Monday, but I had plenty to be thankful for. Steve left last Sunday night for a business trip, so rather than spend the weekend alone, Elijah and I headed to Memphis to spend a few days with one of my favorite families. We drove home on Thursday, expecting to joyfully (if tiredly) greet Steve around midnight after a late flight.

I don't know how single moms do it, honestly...I do not handle single parenting well. Even surrounded by dear friends, I struggled. My patience was near nonexistent, my frustration high, my joy definitely missing. By Thursday afternoon, I was counting down the hours until Steve got home--not only because I missed him, but also (selfishly) because I looked forward to dumping Elijah on him Friday and taking a break.

So you can imagine how I felt when Steve called to say that the flight out of New York was delayed, and they might miss their connection in D.C. And how I felt a few hours later when he called again to say that not only was he definitely stuck in D.C. for the night, but that he was only on standby for Friday flights home.

I wanted to whine and complain. I wanted to wallow in bitterness and resentment and self-pity. Even now with a few days' perspective, it seems such a foolish, petty thing. But at the time, it was a battle. And I did wallow, for a while.

But by the grace of God, some words from sweet, wise Ann came to mind. I remembered her Monday gratitude post, in which she said:

The only way to live in the joy of the Lord... is to believe that the Lord only gives life for joy. That's the real reality I realize, fight wild to cling to on a Friday...when it seems just a matter of time until I have my mothering license revoked...That's the truth I whisper when I look in the mirror on a Monday morning.

That our Creator God passionately wraps each moment different but He's actually the most predictable of gift givers. God gives only one kind of gift: All is for joy. I remember it again: In the midst of the ugly, there's always a window through to the joy beauty.

Never be deceived by ugly wrapping paper. When I believe that God gives every moment always for ultimate joy, every moment becomes a gift. And I can always unwrap any ugly to discover the beauty of joy.

So with a deep breath, I pulled my angry, disappointed self off the futon. I didn't want to do it. I certainly didn't feel grateful. But I had to admit that wallowing wasn't going to make me feel better, wasn't going to help at all. By grace I picked up my pen and my journal, reread and copied Ann's words, and then started counting blessings. Things like:

381. a toddler who loves Mama so much that he is distraught when she disappears for ten seconds
382. Diane, who loves me in spite of my being a mess
383. a toddler who loves music so much he asks for it incessantly
384. having to leave Memphis three hours later than planned, which meant I got spaghetti for dinner instead of snacks in the car
385. truth blaring through car speakers in song when I am too weak to preach to myself

386. a smooth transfer from carseat to bed, with little crying
387. Steve being one step closer to home
388. Steve having his luggage, since he carried on and didn't check his bag
389. grace to remember Ann's blog post and start this list

Then, in God's lavish, ridiculous grace, I got to thank Him again on Friday when...

390. Steve was one of two guys who got on the first flight out of D.C.
391. Steve walked in the door around 10AM and wrapped me up in a huge hug
392. we got to spend the entire day together, since he didn't have to go to work after that ordeal

Slowly, I am learning that because all things pass through His sovereign, wise, loving hands, all things are gifts, no matter how they look to me at first. I am learning to choose gratitude.

Multitude Monday, Take 152

Thanking God this week for...

349. safe travels home and back
350. the opportunity to see Steve's little brother in his last high school musical
351. memories of all the musicals we did way back when
352. breakfast out with old friends
353. the fun of seeing Elijah and his cousin run around together

354. time with both families
355. good conversations
356. the new (to us--a refinished antique) chair we brought back, a gift from Steve's parents
357. tiny buds on trees
358. the privilege of staying home with Elijah

359. opportunity to break out the flip-flops!
360. long walks
361. a nice park near our house
362. Elijah swinging: "higher pwease!"
363. fresh pineapple, cheap at Aldi

364. requests for snuggles
365. dear friends' willingness to share their struggles with me
366. sunshine, when the forecast called for rain
367. Steve getting home unexpectedly early, two days in a row
368. grace to preach to myself and let Truth have the last word

369. time with friends and their kids
370. the ways parenting humbles me
371. a chiropractor I trust
372. the way Elijah is so concerned about his mama getting hurt by the chiropractor
373. use of a friend's washing machine when ours is broken

374. Steve's ability to tear apart our washing machine, diagnose the problem, order parts to fix it
375. grace to get up early
376. dinner and great conversation with friends
377. starting marriage with no financial baggage
378. a church we hate to be away from and miss when we're gone

379. providing comfort and encouragement when I need it
380. not treating me as my sins deserve

Elijah and the Lion: 30 Months

I realized this morning that I never posted the lion pictures I promised you a month ago. Oops.

I bought this gigantic stuffed lion with some gift money when Elijah was just a couple of months old, stealing a friend's idea to take Elijah's picture with it every so often as he grows up. We took monthly pictures the first year, then about every three months the second year, and now we're down to every six months. Since he turned two and a half in February, it was time for new pictures with "Wonnie." The lion doesn't actually have a name; "wonnie" is just how Elijah mangles the word "lion"--but I think it's so adorable that we'll probably forever call this lion "Wonnie."

This round of lion photos was a pleasant surprise after the last several photo shoots. For a while there it was a crazy wrestling match trying to get a good picture in between keeping Elijah from climbing all over the couch or simply getting down and running away. Suddenly this time he sat still and grinned at the camera on command! Wow!

So without further ado, here's my little man with his lion.

...And if you want to see how he's grown, here's an old post with photos from 3, 6, 9, 12 and 15 months.

Who Gets the Last Word?

So often my inner monologue goes something like this:

"Lord, I know Your Word says children are a blessing, but this sure doesn't feel like a blessing right now--I am not enjoying it."

"I know we're not supposed to complain about the weather, but I sure am sick of this cold and ready for spring."

"Getting this Mac was a huge blessing, I know, but right now I hate it; I'm so annoyed with learning something new."

Notice a pattern? My emotions get the last word. "Truth, BUT...emotions that drown out that truth."

More and more I'm realizing the need to practice exactly the opposite:

"Lord, I'm really struggling to enjoy and appreciate this blessing, but You have indeed blessed me with a son to raise for Your glory. Through him I can have an impact on places I will never go, people I will never meet, in a time I will not live to see. Through him You are refining me, teaching me patience, exposing my sin, giving me glimpses of my helplessness and Your Father-heart. You have chosen such a kind, gentle, beautiful way to refine me. You love me and are committed to making me holy! You are using motherhood and all its difficulties to glorify Your name and remake me in the image of Your Son. You are graciously teaching me humility and dependence on You; You are tearing down the idols in my heart because You are jealous for my affections. This is hard, but You are with me and I have every reason to praise You!"

"Lord, I definitely like warm weather better than cold, but you are sovereign over everything, including weather, and You know what's best. You wisely send both rain and sunshine; the cold days make me appreciate the warm all the more."

"I'm feeling frustrated with change and it's hard to learn something new--but thank You for the blessing of having a computer at all, let alone a brand-new one!"

Same content...totally different perspective. Who gets the last word? The fact is, my emotions are untrustworthy and God's Word is true, not vice versa. Rather than letting my fickle feelings about my circumstances trump what is eternally true, I need to submit my emotions to the Truth.

I'm not saying it's wrong to be honest about how I feel. The emotions are real, and it's better to acknowledge them than to bury them and pretend they don't exist. But I don't want to let myself be ruled by them. Emotions make terrible masters. My heart can only be ruled by one Master--and how much better to be ruled by the wise, loving, sovereign, NEVER-changing King...than my foolish, self-centered, limited-perspective, constantly-shifting emotions?

Two of the most beautiful words I have memorized over the last few months are "BUT God." Horrible truth about who we were in our sin and the hopelessness of our condition...But God, being rich in mercy, trumped that hopelessness. Reality was bleak--but God was bigger.

This week I'm trying to "...But God" my emotions. I'm learning to let the King have the last word.

Multitude Monday, Take 151

Ack...another week goes by with no blog posts other than the gratitude list. Better than nothing, I suppose, but I hope to get some other posts up this week. Thanks for your patience.

Meanwhile, thanking God this week for...

316. phone calls with beloved women who live too far away
317. headset so I can talk while doing dishes or changing diapers
318. dental care
319. no cavities
320. a new hygienist, who was MUCH gentler on my teeth than the old one

321. ability to mail packages cross-country in a matter of days
322. long, refreshing naps
323. free babysitting from my sweet friend Jessie Rae
324. date with friends, awesome food and conversation
325. the look on Elijah's face when we got home

326. magnesium
327. pretty brown & blue journal
328. pearl earrings
329. provocative quotes from books & blogs
330. lunch dates with dear friends

331. refrigerator completely covered with updated photos of friends & family
332. news that Steve's work trip will be shorter than we thought
333. grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup
334. music from the ministry team I traveled with in 2002--blast from the past
335. the amazing opportunity I had to travel with that group for two years

336. the little parenting triumphs: being able to figure out what's wrong at 2 AM and fix it quickly
337. handmade soap from a friend
338. opportunities for Elijah to play outside
339. satisfaction of seeing a disaster of a kitchen transformed as I clean
340. old videos of Elijah, who has grown SO much already

341. Elijah's delight in watching said videos and giggling at himself
342. iMovie, the one (so far) redeeming thing about switching to Mac
343. friends I can be 100% honest with
344. challenging teaching at church yesterday
345. ending the long, full week with dinner at our pastor's home last night

346. patiently, gently teaching and leading me
347. loving me first, when I was still dead
348. circumcising my heart so that I could love Him

Multitude Monday, Take 150

Thanking God this week for...

292. new music that arrived on my porch this afternoon!
293. my handy husband, who's downstairs attempting to fix our washing machine
294. grace to get up with the alarm
295. the fresh start of Monday mornings
296. Steve's cooking skills, and the way he puts them to use every Sunday breakfast (and often in between!)

297. leftover oatmeal pancakes for breakfast today
298. two long phone calls with beloved friends this afternoon
299. a headset, so I could do dishes while I chatted
300. girls' night out on Saturday
301. fellowship and games on Friday

302. lunch with a friend on Thursday
303. Elijah's hysterical giggles, over the simplest things
304. hearing him say, "Jesus yoves me, this I know..."
305. singing "Splish Splash" with him during a Saturday morning bath
306. dinner + lunch leftovers at Qdoba for $1.98

307. a church that practices biblical church discipline
308. bringing that process to fruition with reconciliation/restoration
309. going to the far country to find His lost sheep
310. helpful customer service reps with our health insurance company
311. little white undershirts, just like Daddy's but in size 2T/3T (E has finally outgrown onesies :)

312. knowledge to understand the flaws in our food system and make better choices
313. being so much more patient with me than I can manage to be with Elijah
314. the helpful TULIP study Steve and I just finished
315. His power and willingness to change hearts like mine

Don't Miss This Music Sale

All month long I've been meaning to blog about Sovereign Grace's crazy February sale, and keep forgetting/procrastinating...now here we are at the end of the month and you've got a day and a half left!

Sovereign Grace has been running this sale the last couple of years--all their CDs marked down to $6 (and shipping is free on orders over $15), or downloadable albums for only $5. Many of their books are on sale for only $7 or less, too. This is a perfect opportunity to pick up some fantastic, gospel-centered, Christ-exalting music. I can personally recommend (very highly!) all of the following albums:

Savior: Celebrating the Mystery of God Become Man (full review)
Psalms
Fuse
Come Weary Saints
Together for the Gospel Live
To Be Like Jesus (full review)
Worship God Live (full review)
Songs for the Cross Centered Life (full review)
Sons and Daughters
Valley of Vision

I placed my order last week--eagerly stalking the mailbox for some new music :) Hope this post isn't too late for you to take advantage of this awesome sale!