A couple of weeks ago, I was in the car listening to this old song and glanced in the rearview mirror at a baby, fast asleep. The lyrics struck me profoundly. It is sobering--scary, even--to realize how my decisions no longer affect just me. Of course I know my decisions have affected Steve for quite a while now. But his character is already fully formed--he already has faith in Christ--he won't learn from me how to view the world. The choices I make each day may seem small and insignificant in and of themselves. But cumulatively, they will impact Elijah in a big way. Even more sobering is the thought that my sin, or my faithfulness, can have a ripple effect for generations--not just impacting my son, but his children, and their children.
The choices I made yesterday, a year ago, five years ago have shaped the mother I am today--for better or for worse (too often it's the latter). But I am grateful that these choices are not the final determining factor in the mother I can be. My hope is in the gospel, and the power it has to change this flawed and broken mother.
"He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32)
The day I depend on my own strength to make a positive impact on my son is the day my legacy is doomed. But my Savior, whose perfect obedience and sacrificial death purchased my forgiveness and reconciliation with God, also purchased my transformation and gave me His Spirit. He who called me and justified me has promised to glorify me. And that means His grace can provide what I need to be an effective, faithful mother--the kind who leaves a legacy of faithfulness for generations to come.
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name
Unapologetically...
--Nichole Nordeman, "Legacy"
3 comments:
Amy,
I sang that song in church over 3 years ago when we told the congregation that we were a part of and that my husband was the youth pastor (in Marion, IN) for that we were pregnant with our daughter. It is an amazing song. It makes me cry every time I hear it.
Even before I read this, I had planned on posting on this topic sometime this week. I've been thinking a lot about it, too. Thanks for your thoughts.
I have sung the song "Generations" before, but it means so much more now. I SO desire to pass on a blessing!
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