Sunday, November 25, 2012

Parenting Food for Thought

Since I can't seem to manage to put up any original content these last few days, I'll leave you with some links to other interesting blog posts. These are all old (in fact I think they are leftovers from NaBloPoMo last year), so I don't remember vividly enough to say I'd vouch 100% for all the content--but there is some great food for thought here about children and parenting:

Do Unto Your Children as You Would Have Them Do Unto You ~ Sally Clarkson
"If I want my children to honor me and respect me, I must treat them honorably first to show them what honor is.

"If I want them to work hard, they must see me work hard. If I want them to have godly character and not complain, they must observe me making the choices to not complain and to not create strife. How can I teach them to be gentle and long-suffering if they do not receive this from me.

"Of course all of us are selfish and struggle with our own sin and lack of training, which means we will fail often in carrying out these noble displays of love. But if we understand this principle–that the law and prophets are defined by this rule, it simplifies our choices, our behavior. And the interesting thing is that it reaches and opens hearts.

"Our home, our relationships, our family will become what we live by, what we practice."

10 Things Not to Do to an Upset Child and a Couple of Things You Can Do ~ Authentic Parenting
"When children become upset - no matter the reason - it seems as if all polite adult behavior goes out the door. Suddenly, because it is a child, it's normal and accepted to be rude, rough and plain intolerant. Our children's emotional outbursts bring out our inner child and unhinge a lot of discomfort, they remind us of our powerlessness and the reactions of the adults in our lives and often create atrocious response. children are humans too, and if we want to break this vicious cycle, these are a few of the reactions we should try to repress..."

Perfectionism ~ Ann Voskamp
"Sometimes we must speak or the stones will cry out. I have cried. It is now time to speak. To speak of our family’s personal experiences applying the teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl.

"'Always Obey. No Mercy.' I am not faithfully, unfailingly obedient. I fail…miserably. Often. You know it, Lord. The letters on the screen eddy in pools of tears, testifying. Then why did I ever think our children could be perfectly obedient? 100% of the time?"

Even God Does Not Break Our Will--and why "breaking a child's will" is NOT biblical ~ Elizabeth Esther
"When humans attempt to break another human will, they desecrate the likeness of God in that person and violate their God-given gift of freedom.

"I find it remarkably beautiful that we actually need our intact, unbroken wills to “make progress on the way to goodness.” Indeed, the road to holiness requires strong, powerful wills. It’s such a different thought than the kind of thoughts from my childhood. The difference is a yielded will versus a broken one. When your focus is breaking the will, the only obedience you can ever really expect is obligatory, perhaps even begrudged. But when your focus is winning the heart, obedience becomes a joyful love offering—a heart and will freely given."


Zoanna said...

Wow, very convicting stuff.

Danielle said...

Thanks for all the links--good stuff! Have you ever read "Hints on Child Training"? I love that book and the last link about the will reminds me of a chapter from that book about training the will versus breaking it. So good to know the difference!

Ali said...

Love the quotes about breaking the will. I've heard that idea used so often within the church and it has always bothered me. It's nice to see the argument coherently written out instead of jumbled in my head.

LauraS said...

I'm looking forward to reading some of these posts. In studying Charlotte Mason's philosophy of education, I've run across the idea that the "strong" will is not to be broken but strengthened b/c it is instead a weak will. No one says they weren't patient or they ate the last cookie or whatever b/c they had such a strong will. It was b/c they were weak-willed. Our wills need to be strengthened and trained in righteousness, not broken.