...there is in me a desire to receive some glory at the end of life --to have folks list my work and accomplishments, to remember my industry and achievements. I would not have disclaimed them as did Rutherford, I would have savored them.
...Isn't pride a hideous thing? I saw in my heart that I have an underlying restlessness of soul until I merit my own and others approval of my life -- that I review my works, and wonder if I have done enough to justify my existence. I compare my life with others who are seemingly
more fruitful, and wonder if I am significant or not. Are my works bringing me honor?
Go read the whole thing.