It was almost six years ago that my mentor Diane posed the question to me: "Can you trust God to be faithful now based on His faithfulness throughout your life?" I was in the midst of a very dark, low time, and she wanted me to recount all the times I could think of that God had shown Himself to be faithful and good in my life.
Stubborn and angry and full of unbelief, I finally opened my Bible and saw, in my own handwriting in the margins of the Psalms, clear evidence of His faithfulness during a dry, lonely time five years before that. It blew me away as God met me there in His Word, with Psalms that had spoken to me so powerfully before, and spoke to me powerfully again--as well as with my own scribbled words of confidence in His faithfulness.
A few days later, flipping through the Psalms again, I ran across a familiar favorite, and one line struck me in a new way: "...forget not all his benefits..." (Psalm 103:2). God was writing a theme on my life: Forget not, O my soul.
This is a theme God has been working into my heart for more than five years now--yet I am still so forgetful. How many, many times throughout my pregnancy did I waver in faith, struggle to believe, cry in fear? And yet He lavished grace on me, once again trying to drive the point home: I am faithful. I am sovereign, wise, good and loving. I am working in all things for your good and for My glory. I will never leave you or forsake you. I will provide all that you need. TRUST ME.
So again I marvel at the good gifts He has given me, and again I tell myself: Forget not, O my soul.
[a repost/revision from the archives--originally published April 13, 2005]
1 comment:
As you know, I'm memorizing that Psalm. It is so sweet to now have that section memorized so I can remind myself of His benefits and pray them back to Him.
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